Corporate Bullshit Generator


1. Click the Generate bullshit button

2. Watch bullshit appear in the box. (you can copy at will and share with corporate friends)

3. Repeat to taste, as many times as you want. Warning: It can be addictive

Latest Update: Check out the Graphical Bullshit generator. Press the "GO" button on the image and BINGO!

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What is the most annoying or overused phrase or buzzword in the workplace today? What is your favourite? Tell Us!

Jargons for the Day

Sacred cow [n.]A program or product that may be unprofitable, but cannot be questioned.
Sacrifice [v.]Yet another gentle name for firing people. "We'll have to sacrifice a few customer service positions."
Safe harbour [n.]The office bathroom. Borrowed from nautical terminology, this refers to how it is often the only place one can find a moment of peace at work.
Salt mine [n.]Menial work.
Sandbag [v.]1) An unethical attack.
2) A tactic used by salespeople in which closing is purposely delayed into another time period (such as the next month), to improve their overall commission.
Submitted by Ryan.
Sausage and the sizzle [AUS-exp.]A sales term for the extra effort required to close a deal. "John you've got the sausage, but where's the sizzle?"
Submitted by Guy from Melbourne.
Scab [n.]A union term for undesirables such as strikebreakers and non-union employees.
Scarlet letter [n.]A symbol of shame.
Scooby Snacks [n.]Token compensation. "The gift certificates they gave us instead of a Christmas bonus were total scooby snacks."
Scope creep [n.]The tendency of a project's purpose to expand to suit the ambitions of the pushiest stakeholder.
Submitted by Ellen B.
Screw the pooch [v.]To avoid doing anything productive. "Are you going to sit there and screw the pooch all day?"
Submitted by Natalie R.
Scrub [n.]An entry-level employee. Usually replaceable.
Scuttlebutt [n.]Gossip or rumours.
Second .coming [n.]The re-emergance of Internet business as a viable way to make money.
Security theater [n.]A very visible display of security to compensate for a true lack of it.
Sense-checking [v.]The formalized process of ensuring that something is reasonable, or 'makes sense.'
Submitted by Simon H.
Serial entrepreneur [n.]A person who starts several (not necessarily successful) business ventures.
Shelfware [n.]Purchased or developed software that is never actually used. "150 grand later and all we've got to show for it is a fancy piece of shelfware."
Submitted by Gordon M.
Shield time [n.]The time spent in a vehicle (behind a windshield) with a coworker or boss.
Shiny objects [n.]A derogatory reference used by bitter salespeople when they lose a prospect to the 'product of the week.' "These idiots don't know what they want, they're just out there chasing shiny objects".
Submitted by Shawn M.
Shoot the puppy [v.]To take an unpopular action. "We have to downsize the department, but I don't want to be the one to shoot the puppy this time."
Submitted by Graham.
Shotgun approach [n.]A wide, untargeted strategy.
Shrink [n.]Retail losses from shoplifters.
Sidebar [n.]A whispered conversation between co-workers during a meeting or presentation. "Don't let me interrupt your little sidebar ladies, but we have 30 more slides to get through here."
Submitted by Trickyn.
Signature basis [n.]Solely based on one's name and reputation.
Silo [n.]The conceptual area to which one's work is confined. "Don't worry, customer service is outside your silo."
Submitted by Lee K.
Silver bullet [n.]An infallible business solution.
Silver ceiling [n.]The barrier to promotion that many older employees face.
Simmer [v.]To allow time for considering and contemplating a topic, whether to let emotional reactions cool down or to encourage new ideas. "Give them a week to simmer on the new policy before requesting feedback."
Skills ecosystem [n.]The total collection of individual team-members' skills, which are hoped to be mutually supportive. Usually refers to skills that are someone else's problem for providing or training.
Submitted by Darren F.
Skillset [n.]A collection of abilities, commonly matched to a set of requirements. Even more commonly embellished by job-seekers.
Submitted by David.
Slave trader [n.]An affectionate term for the human resources crowd.
Suggested by BitHacker.
SME [n.]Subject Matter Expert. The resident guru for a given topic. "I can't remember how to work this damn photocopier. Who's the SME for this machine?"
Submitted by our spies at a Fortune 100.
Smirting [v.]Taking the opportunity to flirt with co-workers while huddled together for an outdoor cigarette break.
Submitted by John I.
Socialize [v.]To facilitate group discussions about an issue. "Let's give them time to socialize the new material with their teams."
Submitted by Asiya.
Soft pedal [v.]To give a false impression that progress is being made. "We soft pedaled the client until we had more time available."
Soup to the nuts [exp.]From the start to the end of a project, in reference to the first and last courses of a formal meal. "How can we get from the soup to the nuts on this one?"
Suggested by Jonathan S.
Space [n.]A consultant's designated area of expertise or focus. The term is normally used with some form of the verb 'play.' "Our SME plays in the outsourcing space."
Submitted by w3.
Speaker-phone voice [n.]The characteristic volume level that people feel they must use when on speaker-phone.
Special sauce [n.]Anything of a proprietary nature.
Spend [n.]An amount of money paid out. "What was our total ad spend last month." ...And I'm spent.
SPOC [n.]Single Point Of Contact. An acronym that recognizes the efficiency to be found in appointing one person to speak for a group. "I'll have my SPOC get in touch with your SPOC."
Spokesweasel [n.]A public relations agent. He usually possesses a remarkable gift for spin.
SSSD [n.]Same S*** Same Day. Working the third shift often means leaving at 6AM and returning the same calendar day at 10PM, only to encounter the SSSD.
Submitted by JC.
Stakeholder management [v.]The art of acquiring enough opinions from people, groups, or leaders within a company to deflect blame if a project doesn't meet expectations and/or outright fails.
Submitted by Laurie R.
Stakeholdering [v.]The process of seeking support, approval, or clients for an upcoming project. "I spent the entire Christmas party stakeholdering upper management on my first quarter initiatives."
Stall nap [n.]A short, pants-optional sleep taken in the office bathroom. Watch out for the telling red forehead spot afterwards. See: Safe harbour.
Standing room only [exp.]Where buyers are led to believe there are many others interested in an item.
Starter marriage [n.]A brief first marriage ending in divorce.
Statistical massage [v.]To present numbers in a way that conveys a desired message.
Stealth parenting [v.]Running errands for your kids after telling your boss that you have a business obligation.
Stepford Worker [n.]An employee that has bought the corporate party line completely and become an unthinking clone. Surprisingly desirable in the business world.
Stick to your knitting [v.]1) To focus on one's main areas of business, often at the expense of other departments. 2) To be steadfast.
Stick-around [n.]A meeting that takes place directly after another, in the same location. "We had an two hour stick-around after the project meeting yesterday."
Strap-on [v.]To try something. "Before you judge my idea, why don't you strap it on for a while."
Strategic planning [n.]Pointless tautology used when the word 'planning' doesn't quite sound impressive enough by itself.
Submitted by Rob.
Street, the [n.]The finance district of major economic centres.
Stress puppy [n.]A person who is continuously anxious and lives for any sympathy gained from complaining about it.
Sunset [v.]To slowly retire a product line. "We need to sunset last year's model over the next two months."
Submitted by Johnny P.
Super [n.]Supervisor, for those who are too lazy to say the whole word.
Surface [v.]To raise an issue. "Don't forget to surface your concerns with the VPs."
Surplused [v.]Yet another way to describe being fired. "We surplused a few people last week." Good lord.
SWAG [n.]Scientific Wild-Assed Guess. An estimate ostensibly supported by some kind of analysis, however fudged or misapplied. "We arrived at our conclusion using the SWAG method."
Submitted by David & Tom.
Sweat equity (swequity) [n.]An intangible asset earned by the hardworking, under-paid employees of small start-up companies. These individuals are often promised an eventual reward tied directly to the success of the enterprise. "I know I can't exercise the options until next year, but the 80-hour weeks are building swequity."
Sympvertizing [n.]Advertising that attempts to sympathize and identify with the consumer.

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