Corporate Bullshit Generator

Instructions:



1. Click the Generate bullshit button



2. Watch bullshit appear in the box. (you can copy at will and share with corporate friends)

3. Repeat to taste, as many times as you want. Warning: It can be addictive



Latest Update: Check out the Graphical Bullshit generator. Press the "GO" button on the image and BINGO!

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What is the most annoying or overused phrase or buzzword in the workplace today? What is your favourite? Tell Us!

10 words or phrases you should never put in a memo or news release

1. Leading: Virtually every news release claims its company is the leading (put your company's specialty here) in the country. It's not believable anymore. Related words to leave out: Leading edge, bleeding edge, best in class, and Best of Breed (unless you're in the dog business).

2. Collaborative partnerships: Are we supposed to be amazed? Can you actually have a partnership that isn't collaborative?

3. Leveraging our assets: Any company that doesn't "leverage its assets" goes out of business. Everyone already assumes you do. Don't waste their time repeating it.

4. Mission critical: Your product may save us time, reduce errors, solve problems or increase profits, but unless lives are at stake, don't expect the vast majority of people to buy this hype.

5. Robust: It's a term that best describes coffee. Calling a product robust tells the customer little or nothing. Robustness, a new variation, is even worse. Try spelling out the benefits. It's more effective.

6. Ultimate experience: For most of us, the "ultimate experience" isn't something that you can put in a press release or publish in a newspaper, much less put in a memo to the boss.

7. Strategic alliances: Why would you have a business alliance that wasn't strategic?

8. Actionable: Everyone's tired of actionable steps, actionable results, actionable techniques, etc. Avoid the term unless you have to differentiate those items from the inactionable items you're promoting.

9. Web-enabled: If you have a Web site and take orders online, just say so. You wouldn't brag about being telephone-enabled or stapler-enabled, would you?

10. Space: As in "We're in the B2B space." Or B2C space, B2G space, etc.

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